Wedding Emotions

Belonging, family, purpose, these words…. I never realised how much they meant to me, if I look back at my life, I felt the safest when I belonged to something, for the longest time it was my family business, I ran it for some 20 odd years and they became my family, my workers my managers I knew their families, was invited into their homes, every time I went to the factory the smiles that greeted me just made my heart sing, I created a loving space where we worked and played hard together, true to my seven wing, I made everything fun, I was known for my parties. Then I became a Journey Practitioner and now my Journey family has become a huge part of my heart space, whether its holding the space for a grad meet this evening, or when I go to Delhi and bangalore and meet fellow practitioners and having these amazing connections with people I met though the Journey, my friend Adele Bern in Australia, Michelle Bull in Canada.

Now my younger brother is getting married, and its bringing up so many mixed emotions its not funny, I miss my Dad, he passed away 20 years ago, I miss him, and my younger sister who is in London I miss her presence, the threads that run through us, through me has the word belong very strongly in it, you remove this word and life seems to lose its meaning, its joy. I totally get it is our ego that has a need to belong, in this that we really are there is no need to belong, grace just is, and yet family belonging seems to be such a integral part of what holds me up, connects me.

So Indian weddings!!!!! Here i am already struggling with my food habits, why did God make carbs taste so good if we are meant to eat more of protein??? I mean, white rice=its like eating sugar, brown rice= healthier option, why does the taste of white rice give me a sense of satisfaction that brown rice just can’t????? And I am wondering all those Indian sweets, the fried food, o la la, I need at least another 4-5 Radiant Health programs at Corfu to transform my food issues 😆

So we started off the wedding with a function called the chaab where the boys side goes over to the girls side and gifts her a few things, it was such a wonderful ceremony two families breaking the ice and coming together, I met my niece from my fathers side after many years and the feelings of love and family just came pouring out, I yelled at her for staying away so long, I told her my brother Nilesh and me will always be there for her, Nilesh felt the strong urge to tell her you know Mana speaks from her heart, hee hee, maybe not the best way to address my niece the first time I am meeting her after so long, but family is important to me and I wanted her to know that I am here for her, so this is a snap of my gorgeous niece, my cousin Nilesh and my sweet brother in law and pretty me looking gorgeous in my Mom’s sari.