I was hooked by food and somehow was not able to shake my dependence on it. I would binge even if I didn’t want to. My weight was slowly creeping up on me and I was struggling. I did journey sessions on my food issues but was not seeing any change in my binging. At STFF that changed, now my binging has almost stopped, I rarely binge, or feel the need to binge, reach for unhealthy food, man what a transformation 🧡 For me writing is healing, soothing, liberating, I write an online chronicle about my journey with food in this website’s blog, not so much to figure out a solution or what’s going on or to fix it like I traditionally would want to do, but more to express what is going on, like an observer and leave it with Grace to guide me onward. Also if it helps others out there who have food issues, that would be awesome, if you connect with any of my posts I would really appreciate feedback or sharing your own experience ….Writing is new for me and I am feeling a bit nervous, hee hee, but I love when I express my emotions now

So here goes, one of my triggers still is the movies, what is it about movies or even watching the TV at home that I feel I need that popcorn or drink or some food to munch on, its not that my attention is on the food, its on the movie. Then suddenly it came to me, I was married for 15 years and movies had became my escape, that was my time, for me, once a week for 3 hours I would find an empty row of seats, buy food or order it to my seat, both seats on either side of me would have food, I would sit and see the movie, feel happy, well pseudo happy now I know, I remember in one of my diet phases, I could not eat anything available there, no popcorn, no burger, no nothing, the thought of watching a movie without popcorn was so… what is the right word… horrendous that I ended up not going ! for me the food was more important than the movie, eating at movies and while watching TV at home had become a coping mechanism for me. I was surprised when I went back into an old pattern and ate unhealthy food recently at a movie, not as much as before but the need to eat was there, it was not a choice, so I sat with it at home, what was I avoiding feeling at the movies all those years? Is there something I am avoiding feeling in my life now, I am so grateful for the tools I learnt at STFF thank you thank you thank you